Walking Through Loss, Finding Healing
Loss is universal. Recently, I experienced the passing of someone I loved deeply. Though anticipated, the pain and sadness were profound. As I walked through this period, I found myself reflecting not only on my own experience but also on the many forms of loss I have witnessed in my work as a coach and mediator—loss of loved ones, relationships, work, community, or health.
Grief, in any form, shakes our foundations. It changes the landscape of daily life and comes with a range of emotions—shock, denial, anger, sadness, and sometimes, hope. What I’ve learned is that the process of coming to terms with loss requires vulnerability, honesty, and the willingness to rebuild a new reality when the old one no longer exists.
Theories and Stages of Grief
There has been a lot written about how we grieve. The most widely known work is Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s 'five stages of grief': denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Her framework provides clarity and has helped many understand the emotional storm that follows loss, however it’s important to remember that not everyone experiences each stage, and they are not always sequential.
What matters is that grief is deeply individual. There is no “correct” way to grieve. For me, some days may feel manageable, others, overwhelming. Some people may find comfort in rituals or community, while others may need solitude and quiet.
Moving Through Grief
Through both personal experience and professional work, I’ve come to some powerful truths about loss:
· Regardless of their type, it is universally painful.
· It provokes strong emotions and forces us to let go, often without our choosing.
· We can’t control the loss itself, but we can choose how to respond, gradually integrating it into our lives.
A crucial part of healing is seeking and accepting support—whether from friends, family, faith communities, or professionals. Having a supportive network can be vital in finding a way forward. As psychologist Nancy Frumer Styron notes, “Whether you want it to or not, life goes on. So the question becomes, how do I take this piece that has happened and integrate it into my life in a way that is part of me but doesn’t define me?”
Reflection and Support
Loss may come in the form of a loved one’s death or in more subtle changes—job transitions, moves, changes in identity or health. Each loss deserves your attention and care.
I invite you to reflect on the losses in your own life:
· What has this loss changed for you?
· Which emotions are most persistent?
· Have you been able to express your grief, or have you felt pressure to “move on”?
· Who or what is helping you carry the burden?
If you find yourself stuck—feeling only anger or numbness, or unable to see a path forward—it may be a sign to seek help. Community, skilled professionals, or peer support can offer new perspectives and tools for coping. Seeking support is not a sign of weakness, it is a courageous step toward healing. Sometimes, the act of asking for help is an act of honouring what (or whom) you have lost.
Looking Ahead
Grief and loss have taught me that the journey through loss is, at its core, a journey of resilience. Healing does not mean forgetting the loss but learning to live with it—integrating its lessons, its love, and its meaning into the ongoing narrative of your life. Compassion—for yourself and for others—is foundational. In coaching and mediation I have witnessed how authentic connection and open reflection can make known new possibilities, even in the midst of pain.
What loss are you facing right now? Where are you on your journey with grief? What support do you need to take your next step toward healing?
Remember: you do not walk this path alone.
References:
Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner.
Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement. Death Studies, 23.
